You might have noticed I’ve been a little quiet.
My work has been quiet too.
And that’s because a week ago my life changed.
5 weeks into our travels and our new life, Ben and I broke up. I wont go into the details of what happened, as it’s not fair but I will say that it was painful.
Every inch of my body didn’t want it to be the end, but it is. At least for now. Maybe for ever.
All of our plans had to be undone. In a week he’ll be flying to Paris, probably, alone. My ticket will go unused.
We were in Thailand at the time and I booked flights straight to Ubud, in Bali. It’s my place to rest, recover and sort myself out basically. I left on a ferry that morning. Sobbing. Wanting to stay. Wanting him, of all people, to comfort me.
When you planned to spend the rest of your life with someone, breaking up… it is hard. It changes everything.
So I’ve spent the past week digging deep. I’ve gone to yoga, moulded by body into uncomfortable positions and just sat there.
I’ve filled my body with organic food.
I’ve volunteered cuddling kittens.
I’ve made new friends.
I’ve missed him and resisted every temptation to call, to write an email, to check his photos.
It sucks. I feel like I lost my boyfriend AND my best friend and MY life plans. It’s a lot to lose in a day.
So I had to do some deep soul searching. And I’ve been focusing on this question :
What do I want from life? What would be my perfect day?
Now, I have freedom to be anywhere and do anything. But when you have no one to do it with, no where you have to go, and nothing planned… it can be overwhelming. It is a blessing and a curse. I have too many options – what a first world problem that is!
And my perfect day is always the same, no matter how many times I ask myself:
I am volunteering. I am giving my time for free. I am meeting other people who love volunteering. But the main trend is, I am making a tangible difference in someone else’s life every day. I’m enriching their lives, and through that, I’m enriching my own.
I can’t travel how I want and run my business as I am. It’s too much work. It’s too much stress when the WIFI is crap. I almost threw my laptop several times during the past month of travel because I was so stressed.
So what am I going to do?
I’m going to try to outsource myself out of a job. I am going to try to delegate my tasks to other people, so I am no longer a part of my business.
I want to be a business owner, instead of an employee of my own business.
My goal is to spend no more than 1 hour a day working.
I’m planning to go to South America in 5-6 weeks. I’m not sure when. I’ve always wanted to go and now seems like the perfect time.
I want to use the next 5-6 weeks to figure out how to completely outsource my work.
I want to be unemployed.
I want to be free.
I’ll start in Buenos Aires and see where this adventure takes me.